Nine Grateful Things

I don’t know why the number 9, but I was asked to name 9 things that I am most grateful for in life. Maybe 10 is just too many, even though there is possibly a million things to choose from. It does sort of make it more interesting.

1) That my mother survived near-death from breast cancer. That is is alive today, and will meet my own daughter, and that I have the chance to (slowly) build the relationship with her that we never had. I love her with all of my heart.

2) That said, I’m so grateful that my parents gave me a sister, and that she is alive and well, despite her difficulties in life. The same goes for my Dad. I’m grateful for my family. That they’re alive for the moment, that no matter how terrible they can be, or how horrible I am, they love me, and I have them to love.

3) I’m grateful for RJ. I don’t know if we are a match made in heaven, soul-mates, or anything else so cosmically connected. But I know he excepts me and loves me and protects me fiercely, despite whatever problems he himself also has. He tries, and when he can’t do it for himself, he does it for me. He makes me feel like I am on my way to becoming the person I’m meant to be, even if it takes a lot more work because I have to help him most of the way too. His support is a much different kind than mine. It’s raw and it’s full of strength and honest love. Mine is more thoughtful, more intellectual. Together, it works. I’m grateful for RJ. I’m grateful to him for giving me the daughter I’m about to have, who I’m also extremely grateful for.

4) I’m grateful to have the use of all of my senses. Some stronger than others, some weakened over time or by unnecessary force, or through abuse of various kinds. But I have them all for now, and I’m grateful for them, even if they sometimes work against me.

5) I’m grateful to have been born in North America. I’m grateful to be from one of the freest places I can possibly be from. I’m proud and grateful to be a Canadian. I could have been born into a life of hatred, abuse, death, and pain. But these things have only been elements of my existence, not my existence entirely. And for that, I am grateful.

6) I am grateful to be off of drugs. I am grateful to have survived those years relatively unscathed. I’m grateful that I still have hope, and that through it all, I never lost the ability to find a positive outlet, a peaceful way to purge myself of the toxicity of my existence at times… through music, through writing, through just the deep spiritual feeling of being connected so intimately to my pain, and being able to direct it towards creative adventures.

7) I’m grateful for my ability to inflect. I’m grateful that that ability extends to others, and that I can help those I love the most, when they need it, with advice I may not always be able to take, but that I care enough to give, and that it helps.

I’m grateful to have survived everything that I have come through. All that had the potential to become of me that never did, all of those terrible situations that I was able to escape from. The fact that I was able to keep some spark of hope and dreams alive during the younger years, and that I wasn’t permenantly damaged by the events in my older ones. I’m grateful that my heart has not always lead me astray, but has often saved me, through the sheer power of its will.

9) I am grateful for the great diversity of our planet, and I’m grateful when I have the energy and the foresight to plan ahead and then be able to witness this diversity in action. I’m grateful for my travels, for what I see while I’m away, for what I survive, the close calls I escape, the awe, inspiration, and spirituality I feel. I am grateful for the presence of God in my darkest hours.

These are 9 things. I’m glad I put a limit on this, otherwise, I think I would have been able to get into a very detailed list. I was able to attach some things on the tails of others, but all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for, or grateful for, and these are probably just a handful of them.

What are you grateful for today? Can you make a list if your own? Does it make you feel better to have that down in front of you, to see the good things about your life, amongst whatever else you’re dealing with? Does it bring back good memories for you? Does it make you feel like there is a life worth living? Does it make you feel like your life has already been worth something, something other than what you thought it might have been? Do you feel like, with things like this, with possibilities like this, with things to be grateful for, you can make it through whatever your troubles are? They can be the smallest things possible. Like the fact that I am so utterly grateful for my ability to love and appreciate music – because making it or listening to it, music has saved my life, many, many times. Whatever you’re grateful for, I can only hope it multiplies and spreads and grows, into a million more things for you to love about your life.

[Via http://sundaygrace.wordpress.com]